Getting Ready for Buddy Up: More Than Just Being a Buddy

About the program: Buddy Up Program | NorthStar

Building meaningful friendships starts with understanding, respect, and shared experiences. That is the idea behind Buddy Up, NorthStar's peer connection program that brings together autistic children and trained volunteer Buddies in a safe, welcoming environment. Through games, sports, creative activities, and community outings, the program gives children the opportunity to develop friendships and confidence while allowing volunteers to learn, grow, and contribute to a more inclusive community.

Throughout May and June this year, before meeting our Buddy Up partners, all volunteers took part in a series of training sessions provided by the Asian Business Management Program (ABMP) at York University to prepare us for our role as Buddies.

These sessions introduced us to autism awareness, communication strategies, sensory needs, and ways to create positive and inclusive experiences. More importantly, they encouraged us to think beyond simply "helping" someone and instead focus on building genuine relationships.

One of the ideas that stood out most was neurodiversity. We learned that there is no single "normal" way to communicate or interact. Every person has their own strengths, interests, and ways of expressing themselves. As Buddies, our role is not to expect others to adapt to us, but to be patient, flexible, and willing to understand each individual. Sometimes the smallest adjustments in the way we communicate can make someone feel more comfortable, respected, and included.

Another topic that challenged our thinking was the Double Empathy Problem. Rather than viewing communication difficulties as something experienced only by autistic people, we learned that misunderstandings often happen because people experience and interpret the world differently. Building good communication is a shared responsibility, and meaningful connections begin when we listen with curiosity instead of making assumptions.

Throughout the training, we also explored what makes a strong Buddy relationship. Trust is not built in a single activity; it grows through consistency, shared experiences, and mutual respect. Whether we are playing a game, creating artwork, participating in sports, or simply having a conversation, these everyday moments can become the foundation of lasting friendships. We realized that creating a welcoming environment is far more important than trying to make every activity perfect.

One discussion that left a lasting impression was why the word "mentor" is always placed in quotation marks. The answer was simple but meaningful: this is never a one-way relationship. While we hope to support and encourage our Buddy partners, we also expect to learn from them. Every child brings unique perspectives, interests, and experiences that broaden our own understanding. Buddy Up is not about teaching from above—it is about learning alongside one another.

As our Buddy activities begin, we are excited to put these lessons into practice. We hope to create experiences where every child feels safe, accepted, and valued, while building friendships based on trust, respect, and shared enjoyment.

The Buddy Up training reminded us that being a good volunteer is not about having all the answers. It is about listening, learning, and showing up with patience and empathy. We look forward to meeting our Buddy partners and creating meaningful memories together in the months ahead.